happiness

After returning from a trip to Montana about 5 years or so ago, I decided to make a change in my life. I was going to quit smoking and run to keep my mind off the oral fixation of having a cigarette. To be honest, I had my doubts after watching my dad and three siblings try and fail, time and again. Was it heredity? Was there something that ran in our family and predisposed me to need legal crack? I was hoping that I simply would not be able to do it but alas, I made the decision to never smoke again. I remember thinking 'Really, that's it?'. I also remember crying. Finally I told myself what I think a lot of people who quit nicotine tell themselves to stay sane; 'No worries, there will be an occasion. Hell, buy a pack on your deathbed and smoke all 20. What difference will it make?'. 5 or so years later I know I'll never have another smoke and these days I'm good with that, not a big deal. Although I do dream of smoking once in awhile. Any ideas Maggie?
About that same time I got my first dog. She was a round ball of cottony fur with long ears and an endlessly wagging tail. Name: Rider...The best dog. I know everyone says that about their dog regardless of whether it uses the carpet as it's toilet or methodically removes the cork handle from a fly rod, but she is. Since that day that I quit smoking I have continued to enjoy running, and Rider has been with me on practically every run I've taken; 12 miles on the shingle mill trail, the run along the airstrip, 18 miles through the Jordan Valley in the rain (After which we split a pizza). Today we ran three regular, albeit enjoyable miles and to her it was truly wonderful. The first time I took her running she looked glad to be outside. Today, she looked like the happiest soul on earth. I really think she may have been. No matter if she has to keep stopping to bite the snow out of her paws or whether I make her stay close when cars drive by. She still has that smile on her muzzle and bright eyes that look ahead as if this is the first day that they have seen the world. True happiness. You can learn from a dog. Thanks Rider, best dog.

haiku

Blue sky above
Snow falling from branches
In the December wind

A few thoughts during 4 days of marking red pine
I wish I saw Jimmy more often. Miles is amazing. That's a beautiful white pine. I wish I was better at keeping track of birthdays. How does my dad remain so patient? Random thoughts about things that I can't make sense of. What makes a terrible song stick in your head? I had snowshoes on this time a year ago. That's the first pine marten I've seen in quite awhile. I dreamt about that steelhead again last night. Rider probably would have gotten sprayed by that skunk. Days are getting shorter, 31 until they begin to lengthen again. need to find a camera that catches the same light that the human eye does. Was this a farm before it was planted to red pine 67 years ago. Thirsty. Great jam. How's danimal doing? I tied those blue wing olives 1 day late. Thanks for thinking of me sweetheart. Thought of a picture of Polly. Thoughts of a concert-new years 95. Wish I had the recipe for time. I'll try not to worry as much. Thanks mom. Need to take this call. His life will be wonderful Molly. Thanks jimmer. How are the boys doing? How are you feeling Maggie? Is it snowing in Utah? Whose decision was it to spare this tree in the early 1900's? 141 years old. Thoughts spent trying to remember that poster from gradeschool of all the US presidents. Johnson or grant was president. I see orange marks. Thoughts of 4 days ago. Remembering a trip to see the sequoias with Jimmy, specifically the Ulysses grant grove. Everyone should see those trees. Last tree. How did that crook form. Ice? Wind? Branch breaking? Leave it.